I'm losing it
guess who's back?!?! how's everyone doing?*cricket sounds*
glad to hear all is well. i, on the other hand am completely stressed out and feel my lofty goals are going to get the best of me. i am seriously rethinking applying to law school. i went from believing maybe 1 or 2 schools might accept me, but now i just don't see anything going in my favor. and just when i thought writing my personal statement was going to be my hardest task, the lsat jumped in and kicked me from behind. also, i am not seeing any improvements. well, let me clear that up. i am improving in understanding the concepts and techniques i'm being taught. however, when you put me on the clock, i am at a complete loss. i'm even slacking on my fitness goal. hell, i'm eating cookies as i type this. they're really good too. i guess i should also confess to the nuggets and fries i had earlier. and i might have had some french toast sticks for breaksfast. i can feel my arteries clogging up.
you know it seems like every weekend i set out to right the wrongs of the previous week and start anew. but by monday morning, i am back to looking forward to the end of the week so that i can try it again. its a non-stop cycle that isn't getting me anywhere. there never seems to be enough time to do everything i need to do. it also doesnt help that i feel like the only one not progressing towards anything. how can this be? when i look in the mirror its almost like i dont recognize the person looking back at me. all i can think is "who are you?...and what did you do with dareal/alex?" sometimes i think i might be slightly depressed, but my perception of depression doesn't really fit what i think i'm going through. but i'm no dr. phil, so that isn't saying much. i do know that i definitely feel like throwing in the towel very often. dont get any ideas, i'm not talking in that sense. i mean, just saying "fuck it" to everything thats giving me a hard time. but by doing that, i'm giving myself a one-way ticket back to my parents' house and that, folks, can't happen. well, unless i'm in school there and need free room and board. oh and to top it off, i've got issues with lsac. i swear, everything that could go wrong is. why can't i be one of those people that just doesn't give a fuck? the kind that live day to day, with no concern for their future. life seems like it would be so much easier that way. hell, life would be easier if i were a 6'5" wide receiver who could run perfect slant routes.
i'm sitting here at my desk with some idea on what i could be working on...or better yet, should be working on, but i can't pull myself away from my computer to even do it. it's sunday so football would even be a good excuse to toss the books aside. but since most of my picks this week went AWOL, so i can't even be bothered to watch any games. i'm not even sure once i hit the "post" button that i'll even want to see what i just wrote. anyone got any words of advice
Cheer up! We all go through tough spells. I always say this to myself........ 'shit, things could be worse'! Seems crazy but it works. Just keep looking ahead & smile :-)
Posted by
Paula D. |
3:29 PM