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Friday, March 23, 2007 

its been a long time...

i almost forgot about this damn blog. not that i have anyone waiting on the edge of their seat for my posts. i actually forgot my username and password. i really don't like this new blogger format and sign-in. but i guess i should give it some time. maybe i'll get use to it.

anyway, not much going on. still working, looking at possible options for the fall, and acting up with the crunksters. i did take some much needed time for myself and now i'm back to reality. *sigh* and i am facing a hard time getting rid of someone in my life who is 17 kinds of wrong! its not that they won't leave, its just that i'm having a hard time telling them to just fuck off forever! he's a friend, nothing romantic. okay there was one minor, shall we say, hiccup, but trust me i still regret that and it wasn't that serious. but we've been cool since for the most part. anyway, we just got into an argument. and do you know he had the nerve to tell me that i'm stupid for constantly bringing up the fact that he has a girlfriend. and not only that, but also because i haven't "stepped to the plate" as he puts it. hello?!?!?! when did monogamy go out of style? according to him he's laid out some path that i refuse to respond to. i really think he's cool as a friend, and i try my hardest to be just that...friends. but c'mon! why am i being difficult because i refuse to break up a relationship? i clearly stepped out of bounds once, and have no intention of making that a habit. and then when i explain i have no interest in being a sideline hoe, he scoffs at the notion saying he would never treat me like a hoe...completely missing my point that its a slang reference not meant to be taken literally. regardless of how well he treats me i'd always be the "other" woman. but of course, to him, i only see things from a narrow-minded perspective. as i type this, i am even more convinced that i should just put an end to us entirely. i know he wants things that i'm not willing to give up. i don't know why i revert to dummy-mode when it comes to certain guys. i guess in some ways the attention would be missed. every now and then i do wonder if i'll ever find someone who's right for me...and single. and for me to really cut someone from my life there usually has to be that "moment" you know. one where it hits me and i think to myself "you need to put an end to this now!" there hasn't been one for me. i know what to do, but don't know what to do...actually i'm just in denial about what i need to do. would it be fine to just delete his number and never call or take his calls? or should i wo"man" up and just tell him we can't be friends so there is no confusion later on? damn! if i were a hoe with no morals, this would not be such a difficult situation. i'd be over there on my back with my legs in the air and not at this damn computer typing this entry. ha!

We've all been guilty a time or two. Don't feel bad. But at least you realize it's not for you. Sometimes steady good penis is just hard to come by...

*sigh*

Awwwww babe....he sounds 18 kindsa wrong....add one more for me. Only because he clearly isn't thinking logically. (they so often don't)Like jerz said, good dick is hard to find....however good dick attached to a good brain is even more scarce.(I think its on the endangered list with the white tiger and the bald eagle)

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